day 12: just me and some fun

Well this post is officially late...oops. It will also be without a picture because I am doing this over my phone again. But today(yesterday) was actually fun. Well I waited around my house until about 1 in the afternoon for my parents to get home from church. Once they got home I left to head to bald knob to meet up with my friend Morgana. We had made plans to go play some basketball, which I totally sucked at. We played ball for almost two hours then headed home. On our way home we made a stop at my friend kristinas house to chill with her for a little. Here we played a game called Things. After about 5 rounds of this me and morgana headed back to her house. This is where we now are and about to head to bed. So for now, or at least until later today...its just me and some fun(finally)

day 11: just me and a bed

Okay, so today was uneventful as ever. I woke up at around noon still feeling twitchy from my anxiety attack the day before. The doctors told me last night I needed to relax and just take a break from everything for a while. Yeah right, me relax? That's an insane thought. So yesterday I was going to add a picture of the ambulance but did the post over my phone and the picture wouldn't load, tonight I am also doing this post through my phone, so tomorrow I will be loading three pictures to play catch-up. But basicsally all I did today was lay in bed per mothers orders. She would not let me do anything because she believed I was still liable to have another anxiety attack. Also accompaning the anxiety attack yesterday was extreme hyperventalation so it was just loads of fun, I had people in me face telling me to breathe correctly, ugh I truly wanted to slap someone because it wasn't like I wasn't trying to. But whatever, I guess they were just trying to help. Well now I am laying here listening to my sister cry in the front room. So I am going to get up and be the great sister I am and go to her aide so until tommorow....its been just me and a bed (ALL DAY)

Day 10: just me and an ambulance

Okay, so today started off quite in the usual way. I woke up to a phone call from my mom telling me to wake up. After getting out of bed I stood to walk to the bathroom. In here I had to pee and then brush my teeth. I went back into my room to pick out what I going to wear today. After I had my jeans on I walked outside to start my car. I went back into the house to make some final touches to my hair, which actually looked good for once. Well I was finished getting ready, so I went to get my brother and took him to school. I was then on my way to school. Well first I made my usual stop at teighlers to pick her up, she rides with me to school. First and second period went by with basically no inccidents. Well third period began and I got up out of my seat to throw away some trash and I became very lightheaded. I say back down and began shaking uncontrollably. I was basically caried to the bathroom by Lyndsey Shea and Breana Steele. Well they decided to just walk me tho office instead. Here the nurse from the school came and sat with me. From school I went to my regular doctor, here he call the ambulance. I made it to the hospital and am somewhat better. I am so tired, sore, and just stressed. But anyways till tomorrow.....it's just me and an ambulance.

Day 9: just me and stress

Okay so seriously this WILL be my shortest blog ever due o the fact that I am a procrastinator and now have a paper to write that is due tomorrow. I do not know why I allow myself to put myself in these situations but I constantly do...fml. Today was actually pretty good all things considered. I was actually mostly smiles today with teh occasional frown. I enjoyed today but not this last part. I will do better and I will get more organized. I swear that to myself. TOmorrow I will have a better post and also a longer one but until then....its just me and STRESS (that i put on myself).

Day 8: Just me and some shoes

So today was not the best day at all. I just have no idea why but I feel as if I have gotten into a rut and cannot get out of. I know things will get better, I really do know this, I just cannot seem to change my mood. So the pictur for the day is my shoes. I know this is a STUPID picture but honestly they are kind of important to me. They have been there for me through it all: mud, muck, snow, rain, and a regular old sunny day. I didnt really plan on making this post about anything in particular until I looked down at my feet. I saw these babies and knew they needed some credit. THis particular pair of shoes have been with me for almost a complete year. So this pair has seen me through quite a lot. I know I am actually supposed to write about my day but I am going to recap the last year for tonight.

Last year was full of ups, downs, lefts, and rights. I'm not gonna go into major detail. Basically last year was just a journey. I had made pit stops where I dwelled on somethings while I was able to walk right on past others. Last summer was FULL of memories. It truly was a great way to start my senior year. I loved getting to have a great time with no regrets. It was fun. I was able to spend so many nights with one of my truest and closest friends, Breana Brizzle Steele. I honestly love her, and coming from me, thats a big deal. She really did make last year good for me. But I do not really want to go into a spill about everyday of last year so I will just say t was pretty good and leave it at that.

Today was basically a sucky, boring day. The only exciting thing that happened was I figured out why the bra industry goes A, B, C, D, DD, DDD, then E...it is because women in the old days had small boobs, imagine that. But I guess that is really all for today, so until tomorrow....its just me and my shoes.

Day 7: Just me and some unwritten words

So today is officially the last day of the first week of this project. That means I have 51 more weeks to go. I woke up this morning slightly sad from the events of the night before. There had been drama in my household and I was just so worn out from it. Well this morning I woke up in time to actually get ready for the day but I honestly did not feel up for it. Well by the time I got to school the day had actually been going great.

First period was actually okay, we registered for our speech class. Second period had me feeling much better about the day. And third period was the same. Fourth period was okay and I actually felt very accomplished due to the fact that I was able to finish my animation. The rest of the day went quite well until the pep rally rolled around. Now usually I am one of the most upbeat, spirited people at these events, but not today. Today I was actually qiute sad. This was due to some text messages I had recieved. They honestly hurt me. The day seemed to just drastically change in an instant. I was still able to work up enough spirit get me a spirit stick which made me grin for a moment. After the pep rally I headed to work.

Gosh, I think I am truly begining to live for those few hours I spend at the daycare. These children are so great. It seems like they always know when I am having a bad day because they always run up to me and greet me with a hug. I love it. Today I was greeted with five hugs, it was amazing. Well after a while my boss needed me to run her an errand real quick so I hopped in my car a drove over to her bank. Here is where my day just hits rock bottom....I saw (HIM). I felt my stomach just drop, it felt like it had literally dropped from my body. I hated it. I miss him when I have no reason to. I still want him when I know that it is impossible. I think about him when I know he should be the last thought I should ever think. I'm completely irrational when it comes to him and I don't like it at all. I guess it is safe to say I like the guy. Its a real fml situation. As I was driving back to the daycare I just concentrated on the road. I got back and began cleaning so I could head home.

As I was leaving my mom texted me and informed me I was going to have to bring Jaiden home with me because she would not be back in time. I went and grabbed her and buckled her in. From the daycare I drove over to Breanas house because I just needed someone to talk to and I know I can always depend on that amazing girl. She rode with me to get Jaiden some fries then we drove around town till I took her home. We sat in her driveway for probably 30 minutes. I love our driveway discussions. I miss having them all the time. From her house I went home for a few minutes to get somethings so I could head to my grandmas. Once arriving here I waited around on the computer to start working so I could write my paper for Mr. Bill. It is a paper about what poetry means to me. The picture I am using for today is one idea I had for the paper. I will not use that version because it has nowhere near enough detail or length. But I did like the bluntness of it. But I guess I need to try to focus on that paper so until tommorrow....its just me, unwritten words, and you on my mind.

Day 6: Justme and some pick-me-ups

So, today, day six of this little project was altogether horrible. It just started bad. I woke up way later tahn usual and only had five minutes to get dressed and ready for school. When I got in my car I realized that I had forgotten to start it so it was not warm. This made me mad. I had to rush over to my grandmas to pick up my little brother and take him to school, he goes to a different school than I do. Then I had to hop on the freeway to make a speedy trip into Bald Knob so I would not be late for first period. I arrived likee two minutes before the bell. ugh.... Well I sat down in class to learn that our teacher had already began notes s we wereall behind due to the fact that we missed school the previous Friday. Second period was okay, we discussed body language and prejudices. Third was me learnig about adjective clauses. Fourth was ridiculous because we are learg animation in multi media and my dang computer kept messing up. I was aggitated by the time fifth period came along. Here I just read my book. Then it was lunch time and that was horrible because I hurt my tounge. Seventh was definitions. 8th was spent signing up for a college course and ninth was yearbook where my computer messed up AGAIN.

After school I headed to work where my day was made slightly better b the kids there. They all ran up and gave me hugs and smiled up at me. This was exactly what I needed after the day I was having. For play time four of the kids decided to draw and they all drew me pictures full of compliments to me. I actually almost cried, these kids truly are amazing. After work I headed home.

When I got home Imy day just hit a downhill slope...a very deep one at that. I just honestly detest this day. So I headed to the store to buy me some pick-me-ups. These are my picture for the day. In realitythere were actually three Kit-Kats but I already trashed those wrappers. Now I am sitting at the computer typing this out. So, until tomorrow....its just me and some pick-me-ups.

Day 5:just me and some makeup

Okay so this would be the fifth day of this little project I have decided to do, and it was quite funny. As I am sure I have made this obvious already, my littl sister is kinda a big deal to me. Well today I was with her for a vast majority of the day. I managed to sleep until about eight this mrnig until I was awoken by the smell of cinammon rols. This has become somewhat of a Sunday tradition at my house. Well this delightful smell brought me from me sleep because I was starving. Well I had breakfast then made a plate to take to my friend some, Morgana had stayed the night. She ate hers and then we decided to try to get a little more sleep. Well this did not go as planned. As soon as either of us would get close to falling into a deep slumber one of our phones would go off....I voted to turn them off but she did not like this idea. Oh well. So we decided to just get up and get around.

After getting around Morgana decided she wanted to out to dinner tonight. She also informed me she would be doing my hair, makeup, and picking out my wardrobe for the evening. CRAZY. Well I am usually an eyeliner, pants, hirt, and hair straight kinda girl...not tonight. Well she got me all prettied up and then Jaiden decided she wanted to feel "pretty" too. So I sat heon my lap and began applying makeup...hmmm BAD idea. Like I said I usually only do eyeliner. Well the end result was basically a circus clown. But she loved it anyway...I even pretended to straighten her hair. It was quite a fun evening. Well After we were both ready, Morgana and I headed into town (Searcy).

Once in town we ate mexican food and then ran to Wal Mart to get some things. I was really wanting som e sour patch kids so we got the big bag. It is now almost halfway gne. On our way back we made a stop at McDonalds just because and shared our candy with the workers there....it helps that we knew them all. Well after this I took Morgana home.

As I was driving home I really started to think about how freaking close I was begining to get to graduation...it was kinda mind blowing. I am so ready for it though. But I guess I am done for the night, so until tomorrow.....its just me, Jaiden, and some makeup.

Day four...just me and a hippie van

Well today was more eventful than yesterday FOR SURE. It began with me being awoken by my darling little sister telling me she had a nasty at 7A.M. in the morning. LOVELY. Well I went to change her butt, but she informed she wanted to take a bath and would not allow me to dress her until she had been allowed to do so. As I ran her bath water I began thinking about the days plans. I would be driving all the way to Conway to wait on a bus to arrve with my cousin, her bofriend, and their son. GREAT. I was luckily going to not be making this journey on my own. Morgana would be riding with me. It was a long drive nonetheless. We got to Conway and began to take the instructions that my grandma had written out for us, only to find they were wrong. However, the wrong direction actually turned out to benefit us.

This wrong turn led us to a very neat shop. It was a 70s store. They sold many "unique" items. In the front of the shop sat a true hippie van, this is what my picture for today is. I was very excited by this store because it truly was one of a kind, and anything one of a kind excites me. As we left to find our way back me and Morgana decided to try on dresses. We did so in a JCPennys we found in Conway. here Morgana managed to forget her phone in the dressing room. We realized this in time to go back and find it underneath the bench. After this we went to the gas station where we met up with my cousin and began our journey home. This was exciting to say the least. Mishaps occured immediately. But oh well, they are bound to happen in life. Upon arrivin home we upploaded pictures and I began this entry. That is all for today...but untill next time it is just me, Morgana, and a 70s store.

Day 3: Just a few people and exciting plans

So today is January the 8th. I t is a pretty unremarkable date all things considered but hey it is still a date nonetheless. I woke up this mornig to a freezing cold roombecause the power had gone out during the night and turned my heater off. I was not very happy. As I laid in my bed for a good hour just loong at my ceiling I began to think. This is a scary thought if you know me at all. My thoughts were somewhat scattered and random. I basically just tought about my past. Some things really aggravated me while others made me grin. I just ended up throwing them all aside to pick up the book that is my picture for the day. Sarah Dessen is an amazing author that always manages to clear my mind of insane, random thoughts. This particular novel of hers happens to be my favorite of hers. I have read it eight times. After about another hour of her words running through my mind I got up to take a shower because I had to ready myself for work. I was ready in under thirty minutes and in the car on my way.

Once arriving I found that today would be quite an easy day at work. I had a group of kids I knew would listen to me and behave. As I watched them play I began to miss the innocence of childhood, of how things never were too bad taht a kiss fom mommy couldn't make it all better. I miss that. As lunch time rolled around we served up some food and then it was nap time....Oh how I miss nap time. I realized that society has it all wrong, the older you get the more nap time you need. We shoud stop trying to put two year olds down for a nap, it like never works. Anyways, after nap time the cildren went to playing again and I began cleaning. After a while they were moved to teh other classroom so I could do a thorough cleaning job. Then it was time for me to head home. First I made a stop at my friend Breanas house to take her to go get her check, she works at a paper. During the time that she was with me we also made a stop at Sonic to get my little sister some fries. She LOVES fries. Then I went to take Breana home and she brought out her new puppy to show Jaiden and I. Jaiden loves it. SHe even gave it a kiss. Then it was to home we went. While driving home my mind began to think of someone I had thought I was over.....hmmm I wonder where this will go this time. 9o

At home I put a movie in for Jaiden and settled down with my book. It was relaxing. I did this until my mother returned home with dinner. It was shrimp and it was good. After this i headed over to grandmas where i got on the internet. Once getting on I began messaging Sarah and Lyndsey. Then an idiot decided he wanted to message me. And let me tell yuo, it was quite annoying, but oh well. I am done messaging him. FOR GOOD. And am smiling due to plans that have been made for Sunday with Sarah Lou. I am so ready to see her again. But anyways that is all there is to my day.....just the daycare, Jaiden, Breana, Sarah, Lyndsey, and exciting plans....oh ad for some odd reason (you).

Day 2: Just Me and the Cold

So today was by far the most boring day ever. I woke up at like 5:30 A.M. to a text telling me that there would be no school today. As exciting as that may seem to some people, it was not to me. I knew that if my school was closed so would the daycare that my sister attends be. THis meant I would be babysitting. It was not horrible because she is actually a well behaved baby that is able to tell me when she wants more to eat or drink or even when she has a "nasty". So it was actually an easy task, it just meant I would not be sleeping on my day off...:( Oh well.

So today I watche six episodes of Barney the freaking dinosaur, four of Blue's Clues (and let me tell you, the new guy they have is so not as good as Steve), and Fox and the Hound two times through. I think I have seen enough cartoons to last me a life time. I did actually do one think worth remembering, as I was driving to my grandmas house to take my little brother over there I hit a patch of ice that had me all over the road. If there had been another vehicle near me I would of wrecked.

I wish I had some profound knowledge that I could write about but I don't, not today at least. My lightbulb did not brighten any today, but maybe that will change for tomorrow. I am unsure though because we do not have school again tomorrow, but I do have work so I will not be stuck home all day.....but until then it is just me and the cold, and that stupid patch of ice.

A New Beginning: Starting Project 365

I am starting this blog because two very important people told me about it.I actually have like no idea what to do really but I am going to give it an honest effort. I do not think I will have to big of a problem with it because it is basically supposed to be about myself and that is the eaiest subject for me. Hopefully I will be able to keep a positive perspective for most of these entries but I highly doubt it.



I guess I should start with today. It is the 6th of January in the year 2010. It is practically zero degrees outside because it is in the middle of winter. I woke up this morning to find that I was running later than usual. I drove to school in my frost covered Buick, do not laugh at my car because it has butt-warmers. I arrived at school four minutes before the bell.



Classes went by as usual, slowly. Then an exciting event happened. I was pelted by a snow ball by an immature boy. My reaction to this was slapping him in the face. I cannot tell you that I felt in the least bit sad by how I acted because that would be a lie, and one thing about me, I'm brutaly honest. I felt amazing and I rode a high from it for the remainder of school. The final bell rang and i shuffled out to my car. Time for work.



I love my job. I truly do. I work at a daycare with some of the most uplifting, loving children I have ever met. They are able to make even the worst days seem somewhat okay. Today I was greeted at the door with a big hug from the cutest little boy ever. My time at work passed quickly and then I was home bound. On my way home I made my usual stop at Sonic.



When I arrived home I was tackled by the light of my life, Jaiden Aubree, my little sister. She gave me a hug and immediately pulled me to the T.V. to start Barney for her. I then got around to cooking dinner. After which I drove over to my grandmas and began this blog....hmmmm I never realized how much I actually did in one day. I am actually looking forward to doing this for a year. It will help me figure me out. Well, until tommorrow....