day 12: just me and some fun

Well this post is officially late...oops. It will also be without a picture because I am doing this over my phone again. But today(yesterday) was actually fun. Well I waited around my house until about 1 in the afternoon for my parents to get home from church. Once they got home I left to head to bald knob to meet up with my friend Morgana. We had made plans to go play some basketball, which I totally sucked at. We played ball for almost two hours then headed home. On our way home we made a stop at my friend kristinas house to chill with her for a little. Here we played a game called Things. After about 5 rounds of this me and morgana headed back to her house. This is where we now are and about to head to bed. So for now, or at least until later today...its just me and some fun(finally)

day 11: just me and a bed

Okay, so today was uneventful as ever. I woke up at around noon still feeling twitchy from my anxiety attack the day before. The doctors told me last night I needed to relax and just take a break from everything for a while. Yeah right, me relax? That's an insane thought. So yesterday I was going to add a picture of the ambulance but did the post over my phone and the picture wouldn't load, tonight I am also doing this post through my phone, so tomorrow I will be loading three pictures to play catch-up. But basicsally all I did today was lay in bed per mothers orders. She would not let me do anything because she believed I was still liable to have another anxiety attack. Also accompaning the anxiety attack yesterday was extreme hyperventalation so it was just loads of fun, I had people in me face telling me to breathe correctly, ugh I truly wanted to slap someone because it wasn't like I wasn't trying to. But whatever, I guess they were just trying to help. Well now I am laying here listening to my sister cry in the front room. So I am going to get up and be the great sister I am and go to her aide so until tommorow....its been just me and a bed (ALL DAY)

Day 10: just me and an ambulance

Okay, so today started off quite in the usual way. I woke up to a phone call from my mom telling me to wake up. After getting out of bed I stood to walk to the bathroom. In here I had to pee and then brush my teeth. I went back into my room to pick out what I going to wear today. After I had my jeans on I walked outside to start my car. I went back into the house to make some final touches to my hair, which actually looked good for once. Well I was finished getting ready, so I went to get my brother and took him to school. I was then on my way to school. Well first I made my usual stop at teighlers to pick her up, she rides with me to school. First and second period went by with basically no inccidents. Well third period began and I got up out of my seat to throw away some trash and I became very lightheaded. I say back down and began shaking uncontrollably. I was basically caried to the bathroom by Lyndsey Shea and Breana Steele. Well they decided to just walk me tho office instead. Here the nurse from the school came and sat with me. From school I went to my regular doctor, here he call the ambulance. I made it to the hospital and am somewhat better. I am so tired, sore, and just stressed. But anyways till tomorrow.....it's just me and an ambulance.

Day 9: just me and stress

Okay so seriously this WILL be my shortest blog ever due o the fact that I am a procrastinator and now have a paper to write that is due tomorrow. I do not know why I allow myself to put myself in these situations but I constantly do...fml. Today was actually pretty good all things considered. I was actually mostly smiles today with teh occasional frown. I enjoyed today but not this last part. I will do better and I will get more organized. I swear that to myself. TOmorrow I will have a better post and also a longer one but until then....its just me and STRESS (that i put on myself).

Day 8: Just me and some shoes

So today was not the best day at all. I just have no idea why but I feel as if I have gotten into a rut and cannot get out of. I know things will get better, I really do know this, I just cannot seem to change my mood. So the pictur for the day is my shoes. I know this is a STUPID picture but honestly they are kind of important to me. They have been there for me through it all: mud, muck, snow, rain, and a regular old sunny day. I didnt really plan on making this post about anything in particular until I looked down at my feet. I saw these babies and knew they needed some credit. THis particular pair of shoes have been with me for almost a complete year. So this pair has seen me through quite a lot. I know I am actually supposed to write about my day but I am going to recap the last year for tonight.

Last year was full of ups, downs, lefts, and rights. I'm not gonna go into major detail. Basically last year was just a journey. I had made pit stops where I dwelled on somethings while I was able to walk right on past others. Last summer was FULL of memories. It truly was a great way to start my senior year. I loved getting to have a great time with no regrets. It was fun. I was able to spend so many nights with one of my truest and closest friends, Breana Brizzle Steele. I honestly love her, and coming from me, thats a big deal. She really did make last year good for me. But I do not really want to go into a spill about everyday of last year so I will just say t was pretty good and leave it at that.

Today was basically a sucky, boring day. The only exciting thing that happened was I figured out why the bra industry goes A, B, C, D, DD, DDD, then E...it is because women in the old days had small boobs, imagine that. But I guess that is really all for today, so until tomorrow....its just me and my shoes.

Day 7: Just me and some unwritten words

So today is officially the last day of the first week of this project. That means I have 51 more weeks to go. I woke up this morning slightly sad from the events of the night before. There had been drama in my household and I was just so worn out from it. Well this morning I woke up in time to actually get ready for the day but I honestly did not feel up for it. Well by the time I got to school the day had actually been going great.

First period was actually okay, we registered for our speech class. Second period had me feeling much better about the day. And third period was the same. Fourth period was okay and I actually felt very accomplished due to the fact that I was able to finish my animation. The rest of the day went quite well until the pep rally rolled around. Now usually I am one of the most upbeat, spirited people at these events, but not today. Today I was actually qiute sad. This was due to some text messages I had recieved. They honestly hurt me. The day seemed to just drastically change in an instant. I was still able to work up enough spirit get me a spirit stick which made me grin for a moment. After the pep rally I headed to work.

Gosh, I think I am truly begining to live for those few hours I spend at the daycare. These children are so great. It seems like they always know when I am having a bad day because they always run up to me and greet me with a hug. I love it. Today I was greeted with five hugs, it was amazing. Well after a while my boss needed me to run her an errand real quick so I hopped in my car a drove over to her bank. Here is where my day just hits rock bottom....I saw (HIM). I felt my stomach just drop, it felt like it had literally dropped from my body. I hated it. I miss him when I have no reason to. I still want him when I know that it is impossible. I think about him when I know he should be the last thought I should ever think. I'm completely irrational when it comes to him and I don't like it at all. I guess it is safe to say I like the guy. Its a real fml situation. As I was driving back to the daycare I just concentrated on the road. I got back and began cleaning so I could head home.

As I was leaving my mom texted me and informed me I was going to have to bring Jaiden home with me because she would not be back in time. I went and grabbed her and buckled her in. From the daycare I drove over to Breanas house because I just needed someone to talk to and I know I can always depend on that amazing girl. She rode with me to get Jaiden some fries then we drove around town till I took her home. We sat in her driveway for probably 30 minutes. I love our driveway discussions. I miss having them all the time. From her house I went home for a few minutes to get somethings so I could head to my grandmas. Once arriving here I waited around on the computer to start working so I could write my paper for Mr. Bill. It is a paper about what poetry means to me. The picture I am using for today is one idea I had for the paper. I will not use that version because it has nowhere near enough detail or length. But I did like the bluntness of it. But I guess I need to try to focus on that paper so until tommorrow....its just me, unwritten words, and you on my mind.

Day 6: Justme and some pick-me-ups

So, today, day six of this little project was altogether horrible. It just started bad. I woke up way later tahn usual and only had five minutes to get dressed and ready for school. When I got in my car I realized that I had forgotten to start it so it was not warm. This made me mad. I had to rush over to my grandmas to pick up my little brother and take him to school, he goes to a different school than I do. Then I had to hop on the freeway to make a speedy trip into Bald Knob so I would not be late for first period. I arrived likee two minutes before the bell. ugh.... Well I sat down in class to learn that our teacher had already began notes s we wereall behind due to the fact that we missed school the previous Friday. Second period was okay, we discussed body language and prejudices. Third was me learnig about adjective clauses. Fourth was ridiculous because we are learg animation in multi media and my dang computer kept messing up. I was aggitated by the time fifth period came along. Here I just read my book. Then it was lunch time and that was horrible because I hurt my tounge. Seventh was definitions. 8th was spent signing up for a college course and ninth was yearbook where my computer messed up AGAIN.

After school I headed to work where my day was made slightly better b the kids there. They all ran up and gave me hugs and smiled up at me. This was exactly what I needed after the day I was having. For play time four of the kids decided to draw and they all drew me pictures full of compliments to me. I actually almost cried, these kids truly are amazing. After work I headed home.

When I got home Imy day just hit a downhill slope...a very deep one at that. I just honestly detest this day. So I headed to the store to buy me some pick-me-ups. These are my picture for the day. In realitythere were actually three Kit-Kats but I already trashed those wrappers. Now I am sitting at the computer typing this out. So, until tomorrow....its just me and some pick-me-ups.